I work in a very fertile office; perhaps I should amend that to read, a very fertile MIDWESTERN office. And I work with a bunch of designers, and designers, generally speaking, tend to be female (yes, there will be future posts on hysteria, hormones and thongs, all of which are painfully rampant in my place of employment, but not right now). Typically.
Now, I've been in this job for four years. And in that four years, we've had engagements, weddings and knockings-up. Lots of 'em. Surnames are changing faster than Britney's hair (or lack thereof). So what happens in an office when any of the aforementioned Life Events occurs? Showers are tossed and envelopes are passed, because I have nothing better to do with my laughably paltry salary than to go in with about 40 other people on a high-tech stroller that does everything but parallel park itself and brew espresso.
Yeah, I don't think so.
Now, I like having fun. I'm nice. I have the patience of Job (most of the time). I participate in quite a few office functions. But moreso and to the point, I am single. I have a cat. I have friends. But I do not have a husband, and who knows if one will be presenting himself to me in the foreseeable future. And I don't plan on having kids. But I AM adopting more pets. Someday.
So there won't be showers for me (unless I start throwing myself New Pet Showers, which wouldn't be a half-bad idea, but I'd have to get the pets first). No envelopes circulating with other people's cash stuffed into them for my giddy benefit. No pastel-sprinkled cupcakes to wreak havoc with the glycemic index of 40 sedentary cube-dwellers. No sitting around a conference room participating in tragically insipid shower-themed games, but in that, I feel I'm being truly merciful. Frankly, I should be thanked.
There is, in fact--surprise!--another baby shower this week, or early next week, but I declined it; I've decided enough is enough and put a personal kabash on all manner of Office Shower Involvement. A girl's gotta have some boundaries.
And as it so happens....I've discovered I'm not the only one.
3 comments:
You have GOT to get Dead Like Me if only for all the cube\office humor...I think you could relate. Also, where did you find T\K and PUG?? That's a fab shot.
Isn't that great? Found it on a Google image search....it's "Bam-Bam the pug," according to the search that came up. Bam-Bam's owner is VERY facile with Photo Shop, apparently.
I almost need that for my desktop wallpaper.
I applaude you on your strength of resistance. Yes, why should your hard earned money go to someone who could care less about your achievements? God forbid that you don't have a child to bring into this crappy world! For that is the only real reason for celebration, it appears. As you know, I am trying to pry myself away from this shallow minded pool of people. We clearly do not have the same goals. After they have these babies, they are consumed with how fat they have gotten, or how they can't balance life with husband, baby and work. That their employer should "understand" and bend to make their lives more comfortable. COME ON! Don't you think they should have thought of that BEFORE they made a life altering change that effected another human being? Geez! The world does not revolve around them! Will they ever see that?
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